Me with the Producer during salary negotiations.  He's the one on the right.

So, rehearsals started on Monday and I turned up full of anticipation.  I met the Producer, a very pleasant man, clearly very capable and intelligent (that's enough crawling!) and then I was handed a copy of the script.  I'm not happy!  Not one single line!  If theatre producers are serious about improving employment opportunities for canine over-8s then they need to start avoiding cliche-ridden characters like this. 'Alfred sits in the wheelbarrow staring straight ahead' is not the introduction I was hoping for.  And in a later scene there is an insinuation that I smell.  I know it's only acting, but really...